Friday, March 30, 2012

Raising Families In The Modern World

Modern family
by guest blogger Imogene Reed


There are many ways in which the modern day family manages (and inevitably juggles) its work commitments and daycare. In part this is because the term modern day family is vague at best and misleading at worst.  What is family to one group of related people could not be any further far removed for another.  Each is unique and valuable.  But for each and every family regardless of their make up, history and story, there is usually one consistent factor: the provision of financial support, medical care and a certain standard of living.


Be it through the claiming of legitimate welfare benefits or the physicality of working in any given environment, a family needs at least one bread winner upon whom they can rely both financially and emotionally for support.  So what happens to the children and how does the juggling impact them and their parents?
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Happy_family.jpg?uselang=en-gb-
Secondly is the emotions; there is often an unreasonable and 
unnecessary guilt attached to a parent leaving his or her child with a childcare professional either in a daycare environment, with a au pair, or childminder, or even with a grandparent or close friend.  In reality this is unfounded; when they choose people who are trained to a high standard to give exceptional care or who love their child or children, why do they beat themselves up?   The decisions they make are tough, yes, but generally they are decisions over which they have little or no choice.

There is also the workplace guilt which co-workers and bosses are often quick to help to pile onto one another’s shoulders.  Everyone knows someone in work at some point in their career whose kid is often poorly and who gets to skip out of work early.  That worker’s reputation can be and is usually in some way affected, intentionally or not.  

Secondly is the emotions; there is often an unreasonable and unnecessary guilt attached to a parent leaving his or her child with a childcare professional either in a daycare environment, with a au pair, or childminder, or even with a grandparent or close friend.  In reality this is unfounded; when they choose people who are trained to a high standard to give exceptional care or who love their child or children, why do they beat themselves up?   The decisions they make are tough, yes, but generally they are decisions over which they have little or no choice.

There is also the workplace guilt which co-workers and bosses are often quick to help to pile onto one another’s shoulders.  Everyone knows someone in work at some point in their career whose kid is often poorly and who gets to skip out of work early.  That worker’s reputation can be and is usually in some way affected, intentionally or not.  

There is also the workplace guilt which co-workers and bosses are often quick to help to pile onto one another’s shoulders.  Everyone knows someone in work at some point in their career whose kid is often poorly and who gets to skip out of work early.  That worker’s reputation can be and is usually in some way affected, intentionally or not.  

There is also the workplace guilt which co-workers and bosses are often quick to help to pile onto one another’s shoulders.  Everyone knows someone in work at some point in their career whose kid is often poorly and who gets to skip out of work early.  That worker’s reputation can be and is usually in some way affected, intentionally or not.  



Family and the world of work
For the families who may be defined as a traditional average family, the provision of daycare can preoccupy both parents and children alike.  But if it is hard with two parents it is even more challenging in lone parent households. Dealing with the contentious issues surrounding the management of daycare arrangements, unanticipated daycare or school runs when there is sickness, the coverage of vacations: it is hard to work and sort out a home and children by yourself and it is hard to work and sort out a home and children as a couple.   
Firstly there is the cost, which in many cases can be significant and frequently (particularly with smaller children whose care is more expensive), is easily matched by the earnings of at least one parent!  The average cost of center-based daycare in the United States is $11,666 per year ($972 a month), but prices range from $3,582 to $18,773 a year ($300 to $1,564 monthly), according to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA).


This leads to the inevitable questions around the reasoning behind going to work for minimal financial return.  Beyond financial returns arguably, is the principle of instilling the ethic of and positive attitudes towards work.  These are certainly vital lessons for our country’s next generation of lawyers, doctors, electricians, service providers and politicians to name a few.  In essence leading by example and fuelling ambition is an important role in the modern day parents’ job role profiles.


The children
Also not forgetting the children in this cycle of guilt and worry:  Being the child who is never picked up or dropped at the gate by their mom or dad can be tough and in some cases can deeply affect little ones particularly.  For older ones, missing out on help and support with home studies can be the cost, upon which many would argue you cannot place a price.  Parents worry about their child’s future and their education is a central component to how their future is shaped, guiding them to the right paths and steering them away from the wrong ones.  However, as worrying as it can be for parents, in reality their decisions around childcare and working, made in the formative years and in isolation are hardly going to lead their children to check into the complications associated with HIV across the country in their latter years! Providing the love and support and role modelling when they are around in whatever capacity is what will help to guide the children and their family and ultimately enhance their futures.  But still the guilt does remain and manage it they must.

Non working parents
Finally there is the parent who cannot afford to work or is unable to work once he or she has kids due to their patterns of work or maybe the type of work they are trained to do.  An example without intentionally stereotyping could be a lady who did a national and international sales role prior to having children, who cannot juggle childcare arrangements and the job but who would probably be too over qualified to find an alternative (lesser) role.  Or simply a worker whose pay check will not stretch to the types of figures involved above.

What to do?
So what is the answer? To work or not to work, to be there 24/7 or not?  The reality is there is no right or wrong, just as there is no average family.  Most  don’t have the luxury of  choice, and make the most of their unique situation.  They do their very best for their children with the constraints that they have, to give them an appropriate future, just as their parents before them did.  

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