Monday, November 23, 2009

Rape Victim Recovery Tips from Sexual Assault Survivors

Rape recovery is hard but it can be done and it isn't your fault. These tips have been submitted by survivors in the hopes of helping other rape victims become survivors and find healing. Please feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section of this article. You can use the Share button below to tell your friends about these recovery tips.


Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivors #1
Keep a diary to help you identify flashback triggers. This is the first step in resolving them.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #2
If you have nightmares get someone in your home to help you. If you live alone buy a stuffed animal or other comfort object to serve as a reminder that you are safe. Getting a pet may also help.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #3
Redirect your dreams. It takes awhile to get the hang of it but it works. When you lie down to go to sleep tell yourself that if you experience a nightmare you are going to turn it around. It takes a lot of work, but several people have told me it works for them.
 If you feel like you are more secure with a stuffed animal go ahead! Is it really going to matter to anyone else if you have a teddy bear on your bed? It is you who needs to heal. If it helps you feel better to do this then do it. If you are afraid to go into a store and buy one for yourself then tell yourself it is part of taking care of that scared part inside of you. Because that is exactly what you are doing.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #4
Support. Support. Support.Find some. If you do not have anyone to sort your feelings out with or if you want to do it without face to face contact there is an online email support group. We are not professionals. We have simply been there too. Email me if you need the information on this group.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #5
 Cry or scream into a towel or pillow.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #6
 You have an opportunity to do something new. You may experience anger and deep frustration. THIS IS NORMAL. I have known of people taking voice lessons, learn to play a musical instrument, begin karate or any number of things. What matters is that it gives you time to heal and use some of your anger.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #7
 Take 5. Take 5 minutes everyday and just be nice to yourself. You may be thinking how can I do that??? It isn't so difficult. Next time you are in stalled traffic pop in a soothing tape (one that you use especially for times like these.) Set the alarm so you get up 5 minutes early and watch the sun rise. Right before going to bed take 5 minutes and make a determined effort to set them aside for "you" time. It's not as hard as you might think.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #8
 Take soothing warm baths scented with your favorite. This need not be expensive but can really take the pressures away. While you are doing this listen to some soft relaxing music.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #8
Do you like hot tea? Or flavored hot chocolate or coffee? Sit down and fix yourself a cup. Sip it slowly. Take your time. Enjoy.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #9
 When you feel anxiety climbing to the uppermost limit, stop what you are doing. Look around you. If you do not feel safe go to a safe place immediately. When you are safe try to concentrate on breathing out very slowly. Do this several times until you feel better. Resist the urge to rush. Just concentrate on breathing out slowly and relaxing.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #10
When you get angry don't be afraid of it. Rip an old newspaper to shreds. Stomp all over a pillow. Run in place. Throw safe objects that aren't breakable into other safe spaces, stomp your feet, yell, scream into your pillow. Do whatever it takes to get the anger out. Don't hold it in.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #11
 Remember those wonderfully fun looking puddles you always wanted to splash in as a child? Well, why not now? It's a great stress breaker!
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #12
Is it winter and you have snow in the yard? Build a snowperson. It'll be fun, and takes lots of energy. Best done by recruiting neighborhood kids to help. (Be careful, the woman suggesting this also advised of the possibility of snowball fights.)
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #13
 Go to a used book store and prowl around until you find a book you like. They may be re-runs but it will be "new to you" and an inexpensive treat.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #14
Redirect your mind. Window shop. Surf the internet. Use StumbleUpon to randomly find interesting sites.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #15
Go to a mall or park and people watch.

Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #16
 Sing your heart out on bad and good days! No one has to hear you. That's what cars and showers are for!
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #17
 Do something you've always wanted to do, but haven't gotten gotten around to yet. There's no better time like now.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #18
 Get physical! Taking a walk is probably the easiest and cheapest one. While you are out make an effort to notice your surroundings.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #19
 Pray. If you aren't sure how, there are people who will be happy to help you. All you need to do is ask. A church is as close as your phone book, there are online ministries and many books available.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #20
 Run, climb, or dance. These things require more energy than walking and are good stress relievers.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #21
Take time to be kind to yourself. It takes time to overcome a tragedy. Do not feel as though you must be healed NOW! Give yourself time.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #22
 Keep a journal. This is a wonderful way, not only to help process your thoughts but when you look back. You can see patterns that need to be changed. It can also show you how much healing you have done.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #23
If you have a flashback. Hold on to something. Maybe a table or even a friend. Take a deep breath, exhale slowly. Focus on what is going on around you that you can see and touch. Keep doing this until you feel better.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #24
check out jokes, zoos, or crafts on one of the search engines.
Rape and Abuse Recovery Tips from Victims and Survivor #25
Treat yourself. Take an extra few minutes over a steaming cup of tea or cocoa. Give yourself a foot massage. Have your nails done. The activity matters less than the fact that you are something nice for yourself. 
More tips can be found by clicking this link. (There will be a 15 second intermission before the page loads. We use the revenue to keep the blog and website active.)

2 comments:

Gail P Smith said...

Thomas Edward knows first-hand the emotional and physical pain associated with sexual abuse and neglect. He understands what it’s like to suffer in silence with nowhere to turn. And he’s passionate about helping other male survivors heal from the aftermath of their abuse and move from surviving to thriving.
Tom wrote Healing a Man’s Heart, a workbook designed to help Christian men face, admit, and deal with their abuse. He says, “I wrote this workbook for men who are stuck just like I used to be—men whose hearts long to be set free, but fear dampens and steals any ray of hope.” His goal is for men to become comfortable addressing the issues within them and eventually arrive to a point of breaking the silence.
Tom also conducts “Healing Broken Men” workshop retreats, which are great for participants to start or continue their healing in a safe, private, and supportive environment. Workshop sessions include losing the victim status, removing the fear factor, destroying lies and myths, repainting your picture with truth, and reclaiming God’s identity for you.
For more information about Thomas Edward, the Healing a Man’s Heart workbook, or the Healing Broken Men workshops, visit www.healingbrokenmen.com.

posted by Gail Smith

Anonymous said...

There is something I see missing from the list... I would like to add if that is alright?

Remember, it is not your fault, you are not to blame. Don't see yourself as a victim, view yourself as a SURVIVOR! You are strong, you hold the power.YOU are in control, remember, you are a survivor. Most of all, love yourself, you did nothing wrong.