Founder Finishes Local Pastor Licensing School

For three weekends, thirty-two other candidates and I were sequestered at the Buffalo Mountain Retreat Center. We came from all over the Holston Conference. This covers all of East Tennessee from just over the Georgia line to Kentucky with a bit of Alabama and western Virgina thrown in for good measure. There was one phone for all of us to share. Cell phone service was non-existent and I'm pretty sure the camp director never heard of internet service or television.

We were pushed beyond our comfort zones. Limits were tested, stretched and broken, repaired and stretched again. The day started at 7:30 am with breakfast and ended when we were finished - usually around 11:30 pm or later. Tough doesn't begin to describe it but it wound up being one of the best experiences of my life.

Last year I lost my favorite cousin to lukemia. It was almost exactly a year before the first day of licensing school. My sophomore year of high school I transferred into her school. We became close friends. She went out of her way to help me make the adjustment and was the first one to baby-sit my daughter. When she had marriage problems (and later reconciled) she talked to me. The anniversary of her death was hard. In no mood to mix and mingle, but grateful for the chance to attend licensing school, I pasted on my best fake smile and went.

Our Day 1 icebreaker was to get to know a randomly assigned candidate then make a report to the group. I was assigned to meet David who looked as nervous as I felt. Great.

What followed was the shock of my life.

Two years ahead of me he graduated from my first high school. But the real shocker was to find out that he is the youth pastor to my cousin's daughter! (Her other child is still too young to be in a youth group). He says that both kids are doing very well. -- It was a huge relief to hear that from an impartial observer!

There were 31 other people at the licensing school. I'm not a mathematician but I think the odds of us being paired up straight off of the bat were pretty slim. It was a very healing moment. Not all of the weight was taken off of my chest but it helped me to talk with him.

Licensing school was filled with suprises. This was only the first. I'm glad I went.

Today the ladies meet for lunch at the church that hosts our office. At the same time, the Compassion Coalition is meeting in Knoxville. We plan to attend. I'm trying to finish writing a grant, arrange for a regular volunteer to be here with a church youth group coming on Saturday and get ready to attend the last weekend of Local Pastor's Licensing School - on top of everything else.

Right now, a family is here that needs clothing from our closet. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be unable to provide clothes and shoes for my chldren and have to rely on a free closet. Carol is helping them. I'm not sure what I'd do without her. We've been so busy lately! The closet is a mess.

The volunteers who are coming on Saturday have no idea how much help they are going to be. Someone else is coming in the door. I have to go.

See you on Monday. A volunteer will have the phone if you need anything.

Birdhouses anyone?

I think our current community service volunteer is getting upset with me. Several projects need some TLC. Actually, there is a whole list just for him. It's all written down. Part of what we are asking him to do is build birdhouses.

Hopefully, these will generate a few dollars for Hope for Healing.Org (we hope!). Despite his frustrations with me he's doing a good job and likes building the birdhouses. So why is he getting upset with me?

He can't read.

How do you grow old enough to be a teenager without learning to read? We have to help. We found out he likes to build things and hooked him up with an older adult lady who likes to build. She has also been responsible for teaching several adults how to read.

Over the past few weeks, while building birdhouses, he's made some progress. To help him, we've started writing down what we need him to do. It makes him stretch his reading skills. It's slow progress but as long as he's moving forward we'll take it.

I've not even thought about how to pay for another prepaid card yet. I'll work on that next. One problem at a time...

She doesn't have to go!

Success! Our client does not have to go to the school where the perpetrator who hurt her is attending. How would a child be able to think under those circumstances? How would the school manage to keep them separated all of the time? We are thankful that the judge agreed that this would be too detrimental.

Going to high school with a rapist? No way!

Our advocate is in court today ready and she's furious. A teenage client who's perpetrator was sent to an alternative school a few months ago acted out at school. To say she's been under a lot of stress is an understatement. Now, we get word that the school principal is going before the judge in an attempt to send her to an alternative school. This is the same school that the boy who raped her is now attending. The principal doesn't seem to grasp the severity of the situation.

Our client is terrified. Her mother is scared to death. This hits us hard. It's also personal. We feel like she's a member of the family.

For the past several months this client has been doing some volunteer work here. She's logged over 25 hours and would have many more if she would remember to write them in when she comes. The client has helped with our eBay store and has worked hard in our clothing closet. She goes to great pains to help people find clothes that they can use. She never complains and has always gone the extra mile. We've not only never had a problem with she's even supervised the work of other teens.

But here, she doesn't have to contend with people who don't understand. She doesn't have "friends" of the the guy who hurt her breathing down her neck and she doesn't have to contend with comments or rude suggestions from other teens in the high school.

Our advocate is ready to go to war to keep this client from having to go to school with this perpetrator. We all are.

Loaning a client a donated prepaid cell phone.

Thank you to the person who donated the prepaid cell phone. I just came back from leaving one with a client. She cannot afford a telephone of any kind. Her daughter is sick. If she needs a doctor or an ambulance she had no way to call. There is only a few minutes left on the prepaid. I'm not sure how we're going to afford another card. For right now, this client has access to both 911 and her doctor. I'll work on trying to figure out how to afford another card tomorrow when it's not so late at night. At least for now this client will be ok.

Chat n Craft - wrong day. A client transformed!

A client came in today. It's clothing closet day but she thought it was also Chat n Craft day. Today she comes to see if she can help. She wants to give back and loves to craft and likes to help in the closet. She is downtrodden and wanted to talk as much as anything.

After the closet we brought out the jewelry equipment. I wish you could have been here to see the difference in her when she left! She felt good by helping the couple who came in for clothes but when we showed her how to make a few basic jewelry pieces she transformed!

She has some odds and ends of jewlry and beads at home already. We will be glad to loan her our equipment. For a client, we will discount the booth rent at the craft show. She's excited. This may be something she can use to make extra money for her family. Maybe the will be able to have air conditioning this summer?

She left is a better frame of mind and felt much better about herself. The transformation was amazing. It makes us feel good to know that we are making a difference.

Some days the good guys score one. This was our day.

Chat n Craft

Today should be fun. It's our first Chat n Craft. I'm not sure how many people will be here. We're hoping for a few but one person sick sick and another has a conflict. Since it was our first time we didn't put in the paper. We will be doing that next month. We have several projects including jewelry to make. I can't wait to see how it goes.

Tn Pastor's Wife stirs interest in Domestic Violence

It's sad that the shooting happened. My heart and prayers go out to this family.

But one thing this has done is create interest in Domestic Violence. We are a referral agency in a small rural area in Tennessee. Last weekend we helped 3 people find shelter, took a large percentage increase in calls and have had extra visitors wanting information. At least one church asked for cards to distribute among the congregation.

The difference this time in the visitors is that nearly all have shared a Christian background. This almost never happens. In the churches in which I speak women always contact us afterwards. This is the first time we've had this many people with this particular background seeking support. I've also received several emails from pastor's wives.

Those who serve God should know that abuse is against Christian teachings. All of us should join together to put an end to family violence in all forms. The Bible should never be mis-used to put or keep a victim under any human's control by any means either physical or emotional.

Batterers come from all professions. We don't take comfort thinking of pastors as abusers. Coming to terms with that is hard! What we can take comfort in is being educated about the cycle, being aware and supporting programs that help victims - and batterers.